James had just started a new job and was nearing the end of his first week, he was a little nervous about not knowing anyone and being the ‘new guy’. There was one girl - Becky - in the office, she was particularly friendly and was already calling James ‘babe’ the day after they’d met. The attention made him feel flattered but there was something not right he just couldn’t put his finger on.

Bonding and Trust

Have you ever met someone that instantly acts like your best friend? It can be hard to spot, because it feeds your ego and you may be tempted to overlook it. If a charming person is smiling at you warmly and calling you babe, it may make you feel good, you may feel like this person fully appreciates or admires you.

Don’t be naive and think this is truly the case; a relationship of mutual respect takes time to build and cannot be shortcut. If someone is showing you an unusual amount of respect or familiarity too quickly, it is likely that it is false.

Respect Takes Time to Build

If you are bringing a new dog into your household then you probably want it to go as smoothly as possible. It is very important to establish the correct rules from the outset. A relationship of mutual respect must be built with exercise, discipline and affect. In that order.

Don’t fret if you have a dog and have been lax with setting boundaries. With dogs it’s never too late! You may have to work a little harder but you can still achieve balance.

 That being said, what are some effective methods for establishing trust?

1. THE WALK

Walking with the pack is something a dog is used to doing everyday. In nature, the alpha-dog will determine where, when and at what pace the pack walks at. By being in control and consistently walking you are sending a clear message to your pet that you are the pack leader.

If you have to be firm don’t feel bad - your dog will actually be happier when it feels secure in your leadership skills.

2. NOVELTY, VARIETY, CHALLANGE

To summarize the key findings of the last 20 years of neuroscience research on how to “exercise our brains”, there are three things that we can strive for: novelty, variety and challenge. If we do these three things, we will build new connections in our brains, be mindful and pay attention to our environment, improve cognitive abilities such as pattern-recognition, and in general contribute to our lifelong brain health. Source: Sharpbrains.

Humans are humans are dogs are dogs, that is not to be confused. However there more time I spend with dogs the more they teach me about myself. I have noticed several correlations between the needs of dogs and the needs of humans to achieve balance.

I am also a firm believer that the Novelty, Variety, Challenge mantra is applicable for a dogs growth. The more situations that you could expose your dog too - and done correctly - will help build your pets confidence.

Increased confidence will result in less behavioural problems and will greatly assist in establishing a bond and building trust with your dog. Try mix up the activities you do together and it will go a long way to deepening your bond.

3. ESTABLISH RULES FROM THE OUTSET

I mentioned it earlier but it warrants repeating. It is easier to set good habits then it is to rehabilitate bad ones. If you don’t want your dog to jump on the couch or enter certain rooms you need to make that clear immediately and consistently.

If you are living with other people then you may have to ask them to help in this matter, otherwise your dog may end up confused about the household rules.

4. EMBODY LEADERSHIP

This is one of the great benefits for humans; getting to practice our leadership skills and having instant feedback about what we’re doing well and when we could do better. When you are out with your dog and you come across a confrontational situation - such as another barking dog - you must ensure you stay calm and in control of the situation.

This is not the time to pet or talk to your dog, instead you should ask your dog not to pay attention to the other dog and to instead do something else. If you don’t pull this off with 100% effectiveness then pay attention! Your dog is giving you life coaching lessons on how to improve your leadership skills.

5. PHYSICAL CONTACT

While it is important to never praise a dog during unwanted behaviour it is just as important to reward your dog for its good behaviour. Your dog should be comfortable being close to you and should associate your touch with reward.

If you are partial to a bit of drama go nuts! Use those theatrical skills and make a big deal over your dog - it’s likely to enjoy it just as much as anyone else watching!

Jay had been seeing Sandy for 3 months and she got on well with his German Shepherd Max. However when Sandy began to bring her young son John to visit, Max would exhibit aggressive behaviour towards John. There was no way Jay was getting rid of Max so this left him in an awkward situation with Sandy! Worst of all, he had absolutely no idea what to do about the aggressive behaviour.

Child Aggressive Dogs

What Jay failed to realise is that some dogs will perceive children differently to adults. Children will smell, sound and walk differently to adults and are often easily excitable.

Remember: dogs associate excitement with instability and, it is in a dog’s nature to react to energy that seems unbalanced or unstable.

Take a moment to think about a stereotypical kid’s reaction to seeing a new dog, perhaps even a puppy. Did excitement feature in that scenario? The reality is that the majority of parents do not teach their children the correct way to behave around animals.

Myth - It is ok to greet a dog with excitement and to use direct eye contact

What should I teach my kids to do?

If you’re bringing a new pet into your household you should take time to discuss with your children the appropriate way to behave around dogs.

Ensure any dog you bring around your children is under your control - walking correctly beforehand is a great method for establishing your authority

Instruct your children to always project a calm assertive energy and teach them that dogs may perceive direct eye contact as a threat

For any readers out there I would love to know:

Do you think it’s important for parents to discuss with their children how to behaviour around animals?

Do you teach your kids how to behave?

If so, what do you tell them?